😬 Is Your FACE Sending the Wrong Signals??

Hi, I'm Angela, and I Have RBF

That's, Resting Business Face. 🙄

When I’m focused on something, I’m really focused—so much so that if someone pops by my desk while I’m engrossed in my work, I’ll practically jump out of my seat—startled. It’s happened so often that my coworkers once installed rearview mirrors in my office to give me a heads-up! Apparently, I was that unapproachable.

But it wasn’t just my reactions that were throwing people off. It turns out that when I’m lost in thought or concentrating, my face tends to look, well, a bit intense. I wasn’t aware of it until…

The Moment I Realized I Had RBF 🙁

It all clicked for me during a vacation. I was on a historical tour, having a great time and deeply focused on what I was learning. Yet, when I saw candid photos of myself, my face looked like I wanted to be anywhere but there. It was a major disconnect between what I was feeling and what I was projecting.

That moment helped me realize why people at work would tentatively ask, “Is everything okay?” Or why they sometimes assumed I was going to say no when I was completely onboard and predisposed to say yes. (Also, some may have found me a little intimidating—so I’ve been told.) The truth is, I wasn’t being critical or unapproachable. My face just had a different story to tell.

Introducing REF—Resting Executive Face

Determined to get control over this, I set out on a mission to replace my RBF with what I like to call my Resting Executive Face (REF). I spent time in front of the mirror, practicing small adjustments to make my natural expression more relaxed and my mouth, well, less like a frown or a scowl. I didn’t need to smile—just slightly adjust the corners of my lips to soften my expression and avoid sending the wrong signals.

Fast forward to today, and my secret weapon is Zoom. It’s the perfect tool for fine-tuning your expression in real time. I’ve trained myself to maintain that calm, approachable, neutral face during meetings—and believe me, it’s made all the difference.

Smile Science: Why It Works

Here’s the thing: leadership isn’t just about what you say—it’s also about how you carry yourself. Non-verbal communication makes up over half of what we convey, so your face is saying a lot, even when you’re silent. If you’re unintentionally projecting a distant or intense expression, it can make others hesitant to approach or engage with you.

Research shows that even subtle facial cues, like a slight lift at the corners of your mouth, can make you appear more approachable. Studies on smiling demonstrate that even subtle adjustments to your expression can increase perceptions of competence and confidence. Plus, it lifts your mood and reduces stress—a win-win for you and everyone around you. (Don’t worry, you don’t need to smile all the time—just a slight adjustment is enough to make an impact.)

For more on how your expression influences others—and yourself—see more science below in the Leadership Lab. 🔬

REF Training 101

REF is about making sure your expression aligns with your intentions. You don’t have to reveal everything; you just want to avoid sending signals that could be misunderstood. The key is to maintain a composed, approachable look, with the corners of your lips in a slightly upturned position—not downturned or frowning. It’s a simple but powerful technique—easy to practice and capable of making a big difference.

✨ Here’s how to master your own REF:

1. Relax Your Face
Tension in your jaw, forehead, or eyes can make you look stressed, even if you’re perfectly calm. Take a deep breath, release the tension, and soften your expression. A relaxed face naturally looks more composed and approachable.

2. Find Your Neutral Mouth Position
The goal here is simple: avoid a downturned mouth. Lift the corners just enough to bring your lips to a neutral, straight line—or even slightly upwards. This small change can erase any accidental frown. It might feel like you’re smiling, but trust me, you’re not.

3. Train Your Mouth Muscles
Yes, it takes practice! Spend a few minutes observing your neutral face in a mirror. It’s not just about noticing where your lips naturally rest but training them to hold that neutral, slightly upturned position. It may feel odd at first, but with time, this small adjustment becomes second nature.

4. Engage with Your Eyes
Pair your neutral mouth with warm, attentive eye contact. There’s no need to overdo it—just make consistent, comfortable eye contact to show you’re listening and present.

The Bottom Line

Leadership is about presence, and your face is a big part of your leadership toolkit. By mastering REF, you send a message that you’re confident, approachable, and open to collaboration. When people feel at ease around you, they’re more likely to share ideas, ask for your input, and engage fully.

Your face is telling a story—make sure it’s the right one. By controlling the signals your face sends, you’ll feel more in control, project confidence, and build stronger relationships both inside and outside the workplace.

Read on for a simple experiment to put this in practice!

👉 Know someone who could benefit from REF Training? Forward this email to them and help them earn and embrace their seat at the table!

Here's where theory meets practice. In this section, you'll find an experiment to help you apply the strategy we've discussed. Download the free Lab Notebook to outline your approach, record your observations, and reflect on your results.

Mastering your Resting Executive Face (REF) starts with self-awareness. Most of us don’t even realize the expressions we wear during meetings or focused work. This experiment will help you establish a baseline, practice your REF, and measure the impact it has on your leadership presence. ✨

The Science Behind the Strategy

When you shift from a neutral or negative expression to a Resting Executive Face (REF), you’re not just changing how others see you—you may even be rewiring how you feel. Practicing REF taps into a feedback loop that enhances both your emotional state and your executive presence.

The facial feedback hypothesis was first introduced nearly 100 years ago and has been debated by psychologists and neuroscientists ever since. Recent research from a 2022 multicenter study published in Nature provides compelling evidence that facial expressions do more than just reflect emotions—they can actually create them. The study found that recreating happy expressions can not only amplify existing feelings of happiness but also initiate those feelings in neutral contexts. This suggests that by consciously adjusting your facial expression, you can influence your emotional state and impact how others perceive you.

Hypothesis:

Complete this sentence: Becoming aware of my default facial expression (RBF) and practicing a neutral, engaged look (REF) will result in [your desired outcome].

Example: Becoming aware of my RBF and practicing an REF will result in others seeing me as more approachable, warm, and engaging.

Methods:

1. Establish Your Baseline

Start by observing your current RBF. The easiest way is to take screenshots during virtual meetings over a few days, or ask a trusted colleague to snap candid photos when you’re deep in thought. If photos aren’t practical, simply glance at yourself during your next virtual meeting or put a mirror on your desk and occasionally note your expression. This will help you see what you’re unconsciously projecting when not controlling your face.

If possible, ask a trusted colleague how they typically perceive your expression during meetings or when you're focused on work. Jot down any feedback they share.

2. Find Your REF:

Practice your Resting Executive Face (REF) in front of a mirror:

Relax Your Face: Soften your jaw, forehead, and eyes to release any tension.
Neutral Mouth Position: Lift the corners of your mouth just enough to avoid a frown or downturned lips.
Engage Your Eyes: Combine your neutral mouth with warm, attentive eye contact. This signals engagement and openness.

3. Practice Makes Perfect:

Now that you know your baseline and have established your REF, it’s time to practice it. Over the next few days, consciously maintain your REF during virtual and in-person interactions. If possible, take more screenshots to track your progress, or note your expression when you catch yourself on camera or in a mirror.

Results

Compare your before and after photos or glimpses. Did you achieve the relaxed, engaged expression you were aiming for? Reflect on any areas where you might still need to fine-tune, such as your mouth position, eye contact, or overall relaxation.

Also, think about your experience—how easy or difficult was it to maintain your REF? Were there specific moments where staying mindful of your expression was a challenge? Identifying these patterns will help you continue refining your approach and make REF feel more natural over time.

Discussion

As you reflect on your progress, take a moment to celebrate the small wins. Even subtle improvements in managing your expression are powerful steps toward a stronger executive presence.

For your next steps, pick one area to focus on in upcoming meetings. It could be checking in with your expression more frequently or refining one element, like softening your eyes or relaxing your jaw. Keep practicing until your REF feels natural.

Over time, these small changes will become second nature, and you’ll notice the impact on your leadership presence. Remember—the secret to success is experimentation! ✨

👉 Download your Lab Notebook to design your experiment and track your results: Lab Notebook_Face Value.pdf

Having a seat at the table isn't just a milestone—it’s a mindset.

As a behavioral scientist turned biotech exec turned executive coach, my mission is to ignite this mindset in leaders like you, so you can boldly create success on your own terms.

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